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Remembered Feelings

Updated: Apr 3, 2020

These times, these historic times. Yes, we are living history ladies and gentlemen. As I am in day 15 of mandatory shut down of my massage therapy practice, doing my part of social distancing and isolation. Because of this, I woke up uncomfortable in my body. "Why is my body feeling as if I was pregnant," I asked myself . I was very uncomfortable during my first pregnancy and I realized, I was relating the uncomfortableness of being mandatorily unemployed to my uncomfortable feeling of being pregnant. Weird I know. But hear me out, this may help you.

Stress has a way of showing up in our bodies in all sorts of ways. When I was in massage school, some 20+ years ago, my bodywork instructor told the class that" stress was going to cause diseases we don't even know about". So, here I am 20 years later experiencing stress like I've never experienced before. Yes, I made it through a financial devastating divorce,the loss of my father all in the same year, near death of my oldest son and dating over 40! Most things I had some control over, but a mandatory closure of my business is a whole different ball game.

Sitting with this uncomfortableness of my body today had me remembering how sick I was back when I was pregnant. How uncomfortable that feeling was back then. I also remembered how alone I felt, isolated. As my belly grew and people knew I was pregnant, they would congratulate me and I would politely smile and say "thank you". But inside I really didn't like that fact that this little person was over taking my body. Distorting it in all sorts of ways and making me throw up whatever I ate. I slept til noon, have mood swings, cry at the drop of a hat, and then laugh at something that really wasn't funny...were all common occurrences. I felt like I was the only pregnant woman on earth who didn't like to be pregnant. Feeling so alone, isolated in my own pregnancy.

Being comfortable with uncomfortable was something I was very familiar with because while being pregnant, I knew there was a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. But today, the health scare, the pandemic, the very existence of life in question, brought on by this quarantine is unprecedented. This quarantine, is a monster, it is truly something I've never faced before, much less anybody else younger than myself. We don't know when it is going to end, and I can not control that fact. I had an epiphany, I need to be aware of my feelings is the first step to change, pivot, or shift my thinking. Although, I am feeling very uncomfortable again,except this time the "pregnancy" is going to be a very different birth. Although I am not throwing up everyday, my body feels numb and not wanting to eat. Even though I still have mood swings,I am trying to lean into the uncomfortable feelings that I, if not we are all experiencing. I am using the tools in my mental toolbelt to help me through this new normal.

Here are "tools" that you can put into your tool belt, that help me to uplift my moods and to shift my mind to navigate through my unscheduled day.

1) Gratitude/Prayer: I give thanks everyday. I get to wake up and make a difference. Promoting kindness because it matters.

2) Move my body: I try to walk at least four times a week , do a exercise/yoga video or zoom yoga with Rose*. Moving your body produces endorphins which promote the feeling of euphoria.

3) Selfcare: I diffuse uplifting essential oils** daily. I meditate daily and do an extra treatment for my facial care.

4) Flowing through moods: Recognizing that I am sad then give myself grace. If tears flow, I let them. I breathe and know it's okay to get the tears out, and to not stuff the emotions inside. ( my next blog!) Then I move on.

5) Music: Music feeds the soul. Listen to music that makes you happy! You know the ones that make you want to drive your car real fast with the windows down or the ones that make you jump up and Dance, Dance Dance!

Knowing it's okay to be uncomfortable with uncomfortableness in these new days ahead, can carry you through the tough times.We all are going through them. This rebirth of the new normal is going to be something wonderful.

Know you are not alone.

You can reach out to me if needed.

*Rose Shattell Yoga teacher is teaching zoom classes. to sign up for zoom links

** I use doTERRA essential oils to order and sign up for newsletter that is loaded with healthy lifestyle information

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